Dating a widow/widower

I wish there had been a post/article like this when I became a widow. There may have been one crawl across my screen – I may not have been ready to comprehend it. Experience with dating as a widow has a different perspective, seven years later. “Experience” is the key word. Widowhood requires a reinvention of who you are – who you are going to become and what do you want. When you lose your spouse – you also lose your future. Dating is part of your personal reinvention.

I did not consider any dating for over 3 and a half years after my husband passed away. It never entered my hemisphere. Everyone has a different timetable. Dating is a major decision. Without getting into the psychological process of grieving, the experiences of others have become enlightenment as well as confusion within the dating arena.

Dating a widow/widower can present a weird ass set of circumstances. From a widow’s point of view, you are asked about your previous marital status. If your date is divorced and proclaims he’d shit in his ex’s designer purse the next time he sees her – it may be difficult for them to hear you had a perfect fairy tale, long term marriage. Let’s face it, deceased spouses are sometimes put on a pedestal. To be clear, some are not.

I know a widow married for 42 years to an emotionally abusive man. Because of a cultural, religious upbringing, she would not divorce him. She patiently waited for nature to end her nightmare. She is now married to the love of her life, at the age of 70. She now realizes what her life could have been.

Another brief encounter with a widow of 4 months, shocked me as to how ecstatically happy she was to be free to visit her adult son and grandchild in another state. Her deceased husband forbid her to travel. She had never held the remote control in their living room in over 32 years. She hadn’t seen her adult child in 8 years or met her grandson. This woman was shopping for a new wardrobe and a complete set of Estee Lauder in celebration of being free.  

You can proclaim you have “no baggage” but we all do. The most confident of widower men have told me how ready they are to be in love again. Meanwhile, they talk about their dead spouse like they are there stirring my coffee. “Alice always says a vacation is good for the soul”! I thought “Alice” was the third wheel at our dinner date. “Their home” has photos of “Alice” prominently displayed. There’s no problem with a family portrait in the hallway but the formal portrait adorning the fireplace is quite the competition with an elegantly coutured ghost. Her monogrammed back scrubber (which matches his) is still in the master shower. Her “fuckin’ duck” collection is scattered throughout the kitchen. He is quick to point out, “Alice” collected ducks!

Guys, guys, guys – I don’t want to date you and “Alice”! When “Alice” is the primary character within your conversation, it tells me there hasn’t been enough time between your wife’s death and the present. As difficult as it is to do things alone, experiencing new events – watching a new movie, reading a book, skiing, mixology, riding a motorcycle, swimming nude will present subjects of interest other than “Alice’s” penchant for sleeping on the left side of the bed. I’d rather hear your opinion on politics, sex and religion!

Then, there’s the “quick draw” widower! This one is on the move for an immediate replacement wife. After a casual introduction, they want to show you their assets – big ass house, speed boat, crotch rocket motorcycles, a set of matching jet-ski’s, state of the art gym equipment and sparkling Wolf appliances! It makes you feel like a speechless mannequin, not being able to get a word in edgewise. This is a perfect mode of operation – they don’t care if you have an opinion as long as you know how to cook and pick up their dry cleaning and prescriptions. During the tour of their home, they point out where you can park your Jeep and how much closet space, they will allot to you! This type doesn’t even give you the opportunity to quietly state you have absolutely no intention of moving in after the third date.

You may find a widowed sweetheart who thrives on being sympathetic, constantly reviewing memories of their previous partner.  Obviously, if there are young children involved, losing their mother/father is a heartache which never fully heals. This would present a distinctive set of circumstances.

My viewpoint is one from an over 60 widow with adult, independent children. My previous marriage was all my dreams come true. It has nothing to do with any new relationship. Our experiences are our own. A comparison is unfair. I did have a few silent meltdowns along the way when a new relationship said or did something unfamiliar to my usual expectations. I had to learn the necessary coping mechanisms by diving into the deep end. You will encounter those who are not as understanding, patient or kind. That’s why they call it “dating”!

Depending on how long you have been single, time will change who you are as an individual. You will no longer be the half of the previous whole. I call it “coming back to yourself as an individual”. Person standing on top of a mountainYour deceased spouse/relationship is a part of your history. It is important to show respect and appreciation for the newby sitting in front of you. Consideration for their feelings is the priority of the moment. It is their turn. Make it new.

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Dating over 60 – Profile interpretation

Profile interpretation can be a kaleidoscope view if you have no idea who your next best is going to be. Successful online dating can be accomplished with a basic outline of what you will tolerate and what melts your butter. If you are certain of age range, divorced/widow(er)/separated/other status, location, and height/body type, you have a solid start.

The following is an unscientific synopsis of profile categories:

Non-existent:     They have not written a damn thing. This individual is trying to be mysterious, hide something, is disinterested or lazy. You will have to guess who they are!

Family oriented:     This is an abbreviated version of ancestry.com. There are references to the ship manifest and the number of generations back their proud family heritage commences. It may also include where their offspring were educated and their whereabouts at the present time.

Work resume:     A profile of someone who is only and truly their “employment”.  Frequently this individual will utilize acronyms only the corporate division on the 36th floor of their ivory tower would be familiar with. (“I was the FEVP for the KMA in Intercourse, PA from 1980 to 1989”)

Really busy:     This individual will have multiple paragraphs of their weekly/monthly schedules which may include when they snowbird to Miami, dinner/babysitting with the grandbabies every Friday, canasta, hot yoga, water aerobics, massages, bingo, tailor appointments, dental cleanings, concerts, on and on and on.

Physically fit:     This profile includes and exhaustive list of their bicycle tours, gym schedule, spin classes, weight lifting, competitive swimming and lots of photos of their magnificent physiques.

Honest:     This is usually a summary of needing a place to land. They are either seeking someone to cook, clean and run to the pharmacy or an exchange of duty for a place to live. The jurisdiction of the remote control is negotiable. Favorite pastimes is watching television, going to the grocery store and doorbell pizza.

Romantic:     This may be a sexual soft porn under the guise of “romance”. There may be vivid descriptions of where they want to place their hands, pda, wrapping legs together on the couch, full disclosure of what they like to see you wear or not wear. Provocative and titillating photos may be included.

Heartbroken:     Words of grief for a deceased love of their life. Marriage or relationship tenure included, frequently with photos of the happy couple during much happier times.

World traveler:     Lots and lots of photos of themselves standing on top of the Rock of Gibraltar or in front of a pyramid. This may be professional or personal travel – info included in a lengthy description of being cosmopolitan, with a penchant for exotic cuisine. (pig lips)

Materialistic:     Look at my McMansion, motorcycle(s), breast enhancement, yacht, fishing boat(s), Rolex watch, swimming pool and deck, hot tub, outdoor kitchen, cabanas, diamond pinkie ring, Dodge Viper, Louboutin shoes, swim up bar, customized golf cart, cloned dog and wine collection!    

Your Next Prospective Love:     This magic profile will read as though the writer is whispering in your ear and that once-in-a-lifetime feeling of “they get me” encompasses over you.

It helps to have a plan for prevention of being overwhelmed with information. Relax – enjoy the magic carpet ride as though you were reading mini biographies. It is especially enjoyable if you have a high interest in every type of individual. It is a glorious cross reference of mankind and womankind.

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Dating over 60 – A social distance date

You have met someone new. It may have been through a mutual acquaintance, online dating, hiking in a park, they were hitchhiking- you allowed them to ride in the bed of your pick-up truck, hitting 80 down the freeway! No judgement on the specifics of where you meet your new love interest – Social distancing is a crucial element to be followed during a pandemic.

It is not impossible to “date” during a Covid19 outbreak. You must get creative with your non-interactions! This is not the prime time for hugs, pecks on the cheek or even to getting to first or second base. If you encounter love at first sight, do not let nature guide your instincts. Staying alive is your priority.

Preliminary interactions can take place with texting, telephone calls, WhatsApp Messenger, Facebook Messenger and Google Hangouts. These applications allow for typing your inner most thoughts, what you ate for lunch and just getting to know your new acquaintance. They also offer the ability to share photos and limited videos. Telephone calls provide more insight to Southern drawls, British accents, perfect annunciation, joyous laughter, and the ability to swoon at an “oh, Baby”!

A true virtual date can be established through Facetime, Skype, Zoom and Microsoft Teams. This is interacting with your newly met human, face to face, in real time on a mobile phone screen, laptop, IPad, etc. This is a great time to present your best self. “It’s the next best thing to being there.” This is in real time so straighten the loose straps, shoulders back, chest out, smile, brush the pearly whites and wear your good underwear – it will make you feel fancy! A positive disposition and confident humor will win points.

If you feel you have worn out the mobile phone and Zoom calls, safe in person social distancing meetings can be a creative next step. If you have enough discipline to stay six feet apart, the following suggestions may be something to look forward to:

  • A tailgate picnic – a bottle of wine or other choice beverages and a light appetizer in separate containers, one for each. This can be achieved with 2 lawn chairs in a park or beach setting.
  • Meet in the Park – take a stroll or hike in a local park – social distancing, of course. If you are totally smitten with each other, this can be timed to watch a sunrise or sunset depending on available views.
  • Beach or Lake Outing – If you are fortunate to have a local water feature, this creates a great backdrop for conversation and relaxation. A view of ships, boats, boardwalk, and birds can be a plus.
  • Arboretums & Gardens – Flora and fauna can keep you both in touch with nature while maintaining social distancing. It will be good luck to see a monarch butterfly or two.
  • Dog Parks – This only works if one/both of you has a dog OR you can borrow a dog for the day at an animal shelter that has this activity available.

Be excited! A dance in your step and a song in your heart will make for a positive collaboration. Remember your social distancing, brave hearts will wear a mask and be safe. It is not impossible to learn about each other, six feet apart.

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Dating over 60 – Dating while married

Dating while married can be a complicated issue from both or either side of a new relationship – to say the least. An honest individual will disclose their marital status up front. If you are given the explanation of a “complicated” situation, it may be a “heads up” moment.

An example of obfuscated situation can very well include a hospitalized spouse for reasons of Alzheimer’s disease, debilitating conditions or any other situation requiring long term care. It may include health care insurance requirements, financial support, and/or a devout vow to love and cherish. Meeting an individual with extreme circumstances will require empathy and compassion to understand the extreme circumstances. Communication is a key element with this unique journey.

Prospective dates who are legally married may be:

  • Separated while living separately
  • Separated while living under the same roof
  • Living under the same roof but discussing divorce
  • Living in different states with no intention of obtaining a divorce
  • Waiting for the “other” spouse to initiate or pay for the divorce
  • In an “open” relationship
  • Seeking a “swinger” relationship
  • Amid a separation of property and/or child custody proceedings

Dating an actively married individual can create a safety situation. If the married party is “sneaking” around without notifying his/her/their current spouse, a severe domestic blow-up can manifest. Tread lightly and do your homework if you are considering a rendezvous, with the knowledge they have “secrets”. Extra marital affairs have the ability of creating a horrific crime, such as the Clara Harris case.

 Many a mother has informed their daughters, “Married men always retreat back to their wives.” When you become committed in a relationship with a married individual, there is a reason they have not formally dissolved their marriage. It is not unheard of for a divorced individual to suddenly break with you to return to a person they were previously married to. It is not unheard of to know folks who have re-married a previous spouse.

Truly get to know the circumstances of your new love. Trust is paramount. Verification through outside sources, Dating over 60 – Know me, Know you, will provide an insight as to integrity and character.

Communication with your married date/partner/relationship will assist you with making a qualified decision. Honesty and being transparent allows both parties to know the degree of risk, present and future.  

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Dating over 60 – Don’t fall for it

For the most part, the dating world is a kind and polite experience. It is called “dating” for a reason. Emotions are known to get out of control to influence a life changing decision – Don’t fall for it. The over 60 dating population may view the quest to pressure a quick commitment, “because we are running out of time!” Further ulterior motives surface with getting to know your new love interest on a deeper level.

Loneliness is a dominant factor with a fast suggestion to move in together. It starts out easy and romantic with sharing a starry-eyed weekend. Extended commutes between homes always makes for the convenience factor of, “Just stay the night”. First thing you know, you’re scrambling eggs, running to the grocery store and washing a load of towels. New relationships are blissful and happy.

This can lead to lunch with mother once a month, mailing packages to the college child, driving to the laundry, pharmacy, butcher shop, post office and answering his/her business phone. Determine what you want before falling into domestic service in the name of love. You may receive amorous notes of devotion, special little surprise gifts and heady passion for six to twelve weeks. This may cloud your grounded decision-making skills. Ninety days forward you’re into domestic servitude and decreasing bank balance without any of the committed relationship benefits.

Take your time in getting to know Mr. or Ms. Love Prospect. Learn from their relationship history. Will you be the special star above the rest? Filter through their expectations. Are they seeking a “nurse with a Purse” or a “Home Aide Maid”? What are your expectations? Do you view all relationships as equal partners, traditional roles or parenting partners? Ulterior motives do not always broadcast in a timely manner. Communication should also include the fragile talks about finances and planning a future together. If money is not a perfect balance, resentment and being taken advantage of can blow everything up.

If you have known everlasting true love, you will recognize it. Genuine love outlives a rush job. Listen to the little voice inside your head. Use your best intuition. The right answers sometimes have their own timetable.

Be safe. Be you. Be happy.

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Dating over 60 – Senior only shopping hours

Senior only shopping hours have been created to allow the most fragile among us the opportunity to purchase a roll of toilet paper and eggs. The newly appointed senior population may be viewing this as an opportunity to meet the next Mr. or Ms. Right. Think of it as “speed dating” while keeping a six-foot distance from a new prospect!

Arriving before the advertised hour for senior only shopping hours allows you to preview those arriving and exiting their Dodge Vipers, Toyota Corollas and Chevy Silverado’s. It is difficult to determine relationship status by one crawling out of their car or truck. Do they look tired and haggard? A single senior on the prowl is going to look like “date night”. Are they alone? We all know what a cute couple looks like!  Single seniors are single seniors! If you are lucky enough to congregate at the storefront before the doors open, you have the chance to target, I mean, review the crowd.

Remembering to keep social distancing in mind, seniors step closer to hear better when you greet them. Everyone must discuss the trials and tribulations of traveling to multiple retailers trying to purchase a can of beans. A shopping cart or buggy shortage may even creep into the conversation. A few will be clutching a list, hankie included. You will definitely hear which store has no meat, water, paper products or canned goods. Does anyone have recipes for creating delights with cottage cheese and asiago cheese injected bratwursts?

The greatest generation is always willing to engage in conversation. Isolation may not be new to them. Anyone with a walker or cane is gently ushered to the front. Utilizing humor with the chemistry of a hound dog, one can wish and pray for a love connection even at a distance. Gentle chatting brings everyone together for the common focus.  Everyone remains patient for the doors to burst open. This special grace of population is appreciative of the opportunity to purchase a pint of milk.

Considering the extenuating circumstances, we find ourselves living in – our only escape from our homes is to forge forward for the necessities of life – Twinkies, Cheetos, beer and wine. Dating over 60 includes meeting a prospective love organically. Social distancing has just put a unique spin on the process. Remember to wear your glasses!

(This writer wishes to thank the H-E-B customer, in Clear Lake, Texas,  who grabbed the last two packages of Scott Tissue but turned around and saw my face before she gently handed one to me.)

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Dating over 60 – Know me, Know you

You’ve met someone brand spanking new. Your brain goes whirly-bird – especially if this is a new adventure. If there is no mutual denominator for being introduced, a chance encounter while waiting in the Starbucks line or disco dancing up a grocery store aisle or a dating site, you exchange telephone numbers. You are technically getting to know a stranger.

Safety is the utmost priority. Identification and verification of exchanged information is a starting point. Surely you found out their name! During the casual encounter, they may have given you the general vicinity of residence, employment or family tidbits. Hopefully, the last name is as uncommon as “Batshitenowski” instead of “Smith”. If you enjoyed the initial banter, your selective memory should serve you well with details.

You need not be a technological wizard to verify the accumulated identifiers. The telephone number usually yields an address when input into your browser. Think of your browser as the new white page phone book thrown onto your doorstep. If your new love interest stated they live “uptown”, one of the addresses listed for them should be within the area stated. A few websites may even include family members residing at said address.  A no cost (free) look-up website is: truepeoplesearch.com or thatsthem.com These sites may not have been updated but will provide general information or let you know if their phone is still in an ex’s name!

Inputting their name into a web browser may provide information even if they don’t participate with social media. Photos from a charity golf tournament, self-employed reviews/websites, dancing nude at Woodstock, employer websites and being tagged in other family member’s posts may appear. An uncommon last name will make this search quicker or less tedious.

If further inquiry or interrogation is needed, a “for fee” website to do a  more in depth search, such as truthfinder.com is available. This website will offer a criminal background search.

Intuition can be beneficial. Experience and age afford the dating over 60 population knowledge from our previous human encounters. Utilization of new age technology is available to make a confident decision. Remember – this is a two-way street! Taking your social media access from public to friends only or private may be a consideration. Be selective on securing your information.

Know me – Know you requires great communication, patience and truth.

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Dating over 60 – Organically meeting your new love

So, online dating isn’t “your thing” but you’re rattling around on the weekends, in your boxers or gutchies, by yourself. An alternative action is to meet your new love organically. You do not relish the thought of living the rest of your days alone. We all do better with a special someone having our backs, to complain with and to witness our lives. It isn’t going to happen while you hold down the couch.

Be where you enjoy the environment. “Like people” gravitate to their comfort zones. Instead of sleeping your Saturday away – Get your best self together, emotionally and physically and “git after it”. Practice a positive disposition in the mirror. It will surprise you to find how many smiles are returned to you in public places.

Grocery stores are a positive source of interaction. Observing naked chickens can prompt a question to the cutie next to you. Ask what they intend to do with that hen. Ask a person of interest if they know where the maraschino cherries are located. Everyone needs maraschino cherries. Then ask where the whipped crème is! Start a conversation with the person behind you in the checkout line. Choose your grocery store carefully. If you are a Whole Foods Market patron, the conversation may be different than the Kroger encounters. Give the local farmer’s market and festivals a fly through. We all must eat. Give the chore a dual purpose. Don’t discount speaking with someone that isn’t your perfect match – they are related to, work with and live near someone waiting to meet you. A new friend is beneficial for further socialization.

Home Improvement stores are fantastic for encounters. If gardening is your joy of heart, it pays big time to take a slow stroll through the gardenia bushes and fertilizer spreaders. Humans love to be asked for their expert opinions when making an out of ordinary purchase. Carry your mangled shower head proudly through the plumbing supply department.

If you are looking to move up in the world, put on your finest wearables and eat lunch at the Four Seasons Hotel. Take a walk on the wild side and choose an eatery you’ve always wanted to frequent but just didn’t. You deserve it. Eating at the bar in your local restaurant will instigate conversation. Choose a time when your favorite sport will be televised. Ask the person to your left if they’ve ever eaten the fettucine alfredo!  Enthusiasm for a microbrewery brewski is contagious.

Meeting someone organically at church, Meet-Up groups, volunteer groups and employment environments present a common denominator. Visit a dog park. If you don’t have a dog – borrow one. Public parks present nature, walking trails, hiking paths, bicycle lanes, arborist seminars and sport activity fields. When was the last time you watched a soccer game or Little Leaguers play? If you are employed, initiate a community service drive or activity. This can be accomplished through your homeowner associations, senior centers, scout troops or boys & girls clubs – meet your neighbors. Volunteer at the local food pantry, read to children in the hospital, visit meals on wheels recipients, become a CASA – Court Appointed Special Advocate for abused children – we reap great gifts when giving to others.

These activities can start out small and grow as much as you wish. Being alone can rankle loneliness. Feed your soul. You will organically meet a soulmate. Remember to keep sharing your radiant smile.

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Dating over 60 – Profile photos

You’ve made the delicate decision to enter the infinite universe of internet dating. In preparation for your dating extravaganza debut, profile photos become your personal billboard. Usually, we don’t take a portfolio of photos of ourselves unless they appear the be the strained and twisted selfies.

Photos taken within recent months will provide a realistic replica of who you are. Action and activity provide a sense of your true persona. It doesn’t have to be jumping on a trampoline or swan diving off a diving board to prove how young you are. Laughing in the kitchen, posing near a historical landmark or Buc-ees statue, adjusting sails on your sailboat, serving food at a charity event, chasing your dog and typing the next great American novel will add interest. Next time you are lounging near a fire pit, ask your cousin to take your picture. Show who you are! Candid shots of putting your tractor away at sunset will create more buzz than a selfie taken in your lounge chair, wearing a wife-beater, watching television.

If you think the selfies you took in the bathroom mirror, toilet in the background, is your best shot – it is not. Is your dream date image one of Preparation H on the shelf behind you? This blog post is primarily directed to daters over 60 years of age. A photo found of you 8 years ago is obviously going to tell the viewer, it is an old photo. What do you think your first impression will be if your photo is dark brunette and you are now super silver? As Popeye used to say, “I Yam What I Yam & Dats What I Yam”! It is unrealistic to think your appearance haven’t changed since George W was in office!

It has been written; professional photographs are the most desirable. Professional photographs taken by someone brave enough to tell you, it isn’t a good idea to include your 25-year-old daughter, in a mini skirt, laying on a table, in a provocative pose, in front of you. Let the professional do their job.

Group shots with the office gang, church volunteers, family reunion, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, your seven sisters or brothers, all the grandchildren or your kids is a distraction. Your prospective sweetheart wants to see what you look like. It doesn’t help to label the image. He or she may think your co-worker is a lot better looking.

 Individual headshots and head to toe shots are best. If you were told in 1973, you look spectacular in a speedo or thong swimsuit, survey those unfamiliar with you before posting your recent shots. If you’ve paid to have a ton of surgery to enhance your looks, go for it. This is definitely a “confidence call” on your part.

Photos with your ex’s and deceased partners usually does not invoke sympathy unless this is your goal. You may not be prepared to jump into the dating pool until you are ready to share your time and life with someone new.

We are all beautiful and handsome. Evoke humor, engaging eye contact and confident body language during the next Kodak moment! There is someone out there for each person. Best wishes and “smile”!

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Dating over 60 – Interview or Interrogation

First dates and initial meetings can stress out the savviest dater. Text and telephone conversations are important in making the first impression a positive outcome. There is a fine line in crossing over into interrogation mode when trying to get to know someone. Innovative and engaging conversation should never feel like a job interview either.

Telephone conversations before the first meet and greet/date is a necessary step in determining if you may be compatible for any kind of relationship. If the candidate starts talking and doesn’t take a breath for 45 minutes, it may be a sign their favorite subject is themselves. Telephone conversations relay a wealth of information. You may be informed their number is a landline. In the current world, having a smart phone for anyone leaving their love nest, is almost a necessity. If you agree that your prospective love interest is just fine living in 1996 – be prepared to do anything technically specific to survive for them. An example would be ordering their “senior coffee” at the kiosk in McDonalds!   We all wish for the caller using a movie star voice, a comforting attitude and an enthusiastic welcome to share words with you.

You may be an experienced public speaker, but occupational theatrics may not be your best bet when making a love connection.  Your experience with outside sales spiels may make your clients roar with laughter during the 5-star lunch your corporate expense account is paying for. If you are the comedian in your bible study, gauge your new audience before delivering the punchline, “Jesus Christ, are you still in the bathroom”!

Consider the comfort of your date before shooting off closed-end questions, such as:

  • Where do you live?
  • How many kids do you have?
  • Do you work?

A one- or two-word response stops the conversation. Open-end questions will open a conversation for a response of more than a “yes” or “no” answer. Conversation starters allow an extension for showing interest without being invasive. Instead of:

  • Where do you live?     What is the best thing about living in WhereTheHellAmI, AL?
  • How many kids do you have?     How grand of a production is the holidays at your house?          
  • Do you work?     What interest keeps your heart happy during the week? Skydiving? Dating Coach? Map maker? Car jockey? Rocket scientist?  

If you feel like you are sitting in a tiny room with a bare light bulb burning above your head, tell Sargent Joe Friday to step back with the rapid fire of questions. You are under no obligation to disclose anything which makes you uncomfortable. A great response is to just stare back at your date with a smile on your face. State in a firm tone, “I’d rather not answer that.” You are the judge calculating if the question is innocent or digging for private and unjustifiable nobody’s business but your own!

The interviewer/date may start off with where they grew up, in a nuclear family of five in suburbia and hula hoop lessons all the way around. The information may bleed into the college and employment resume. If every single one of their work titles and positions is stated, take a deep breath and excuse yourself to wash your hands. You will be in a position to re-direct the conversation upon your return.

The expectation is that you release the elevator pitch of your “Wonder Years” to determine if there will be a second interview. Your 30 second announcement, 75 words or less can be as vague or as specific as you wish. You are in the driver’s seat when it is your turn. Inserting humor can lighten the direction of the banter into a natural flow of getting to know each other.

Be authentic and true to yourself. If the initial dialogue did not meet your expectation, you may have a humorous story to share later. Remember, it’s a date not a marriage commitment – at least not yet!

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