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Dating over 60 – Profile interpretation

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Profile interpretation can be a kaleidoscope view if you have no idea who your next best is going to be. Successful online dating can be accomplished with a basic outline of what you will tolerate and what melts your butter. If you are certain of age range, divorced/widow(er)/separated/other status, location, and height/body type, you have a solid start.

The following is an unscientific synopsis of profile categories:

Non-existent:     They have not written a damn thing. This individual is trying to be mysterious, hide something, is disinterested or lazy. You will have to guess who they are!

Family oriented:     This is an abbreviated version of ancestry.com. There are references to the ship manifest and the number of generations back their proud family heritage commences. It may also include where their offspring were educated and their whereabouts at the present time.

Work resume:     A profile of someone who is only and truly their “employment”.  Frequently this individual will utilize acronyms only the corporate division on the 36th floor of their ivory tower would be familiar with. (“I was the FEVP for the KMA in Intercourse, PA from 1980 to 1989”)

Really busy:     This individual will have multiple paragraphs of their weekly/monthly schedules which may include when they snowbird to Miami, dinner/babysitting with the grandbabies every Friday, canasta, hot yoga, water aerobics, massages, bingo, tailor appointments, dental cleanings, concerts, on and on and on.

Physically fit:     This profile includes and exhaustive list of their bicycle tours, gym schedule, spin classes, weight lifting, competitive swimming and lots of photos of their magnificent physiques.

Honest:     This is usually a summary of needing a place to land. They are either seeking someone to cook, clean and run to the pharmacy or an exchange of duty for a place to live. The jurisdiction of the remote control is negotiable. Favorite pastimes is watching television, going to the grocery store and doorbell pizza.

Romantic:     This may be a sexual soft porn under the guise of “romance”. There may be vivid descriptions of where they want to place their hands, pda, wrapping legs together on the couch, full disclosure of what they like to see you wear or not wear. Provocative and titillating photos may be included.

Heartbroken:     Words of grief for a deceased love of their life. Marriage or relationship tenure included, frequently with photos of the happy couple during much happier times.

World traveler:     Lots and lots of photos of themselves standing on top of the Rock of Gibraltar or in front of a pyramid. This may be professional or personal travel – info included in a lengthy description of being cosmopolitan, with a penchant for exotic cuisine. (pig lips)

Materialistic:     Look at my McMansion, motorcycle(s), breast enhancement, yacht, fishing boat(s), Rolex watch, swimming pool and deck, hot tub, outdoor kitchen, cabanas, diamond pinkie ring, Dodge Viper, Louboutin shoes, swim up bar, customized golf cart, cloned dog and wine collection!    

Your Next Prospective Love:     This magic profile will read as though the writer is whispering in your ear and that once-in-a-lifetime feeling of “they get me” encompasses over you.

It helps to have a plan for prevention of being overwhelmed with information. Relax – enjoy the magic carpet ride as though you were reading mini biographies. It is especially enjoyable if you have a high interest in every type of individual. It is a glorious cross reference of mankind and womankind.

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Dating over 60 – Senior only shopping hours

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Senior only shopping hours have been created to allow the most fragile among us the opportunity to purchase a roll of toilet paper and eggs. The newly appointed senior population may be viewing this as an opportunity to meet the next Mr. or Ms. Right. Think of it as “speed dating” while keeping a six-foot distance from a new prospect!

Arriving before the advertised hour for senior only shopping hours allows you to preview those arriving and exiting their Dodge Vipers, Toyota Corollas and Chevy Silverado’s. It is difficult to determine relationship status by one crawling out of their car or truck. Do they look tired and haggard? A single senior on the prowl is going to look like “date night”. Are they alone? We all know what a cute couple looks like!  Single seniors are single seniors! If you are lucky enough to congregate at the storefront before the doors open, you have the chance to target, I mean, review the crowd.

Remembering to keep social distancing in mind, seniors step closer to hear better when you greet them. Everyone must discuss the trials and tribulations of traveling to multiple retailers trying to purchase a can of beans. A shopping cart or buggy shortage may even creep into the conversation. A few will be clutching a list, hankie included. You will definitely hear which store has no meat, water, paper products or canned goods. Does anyone have recipes for creating delights with cottage cheese and asiago cheese injected bratwursts?

The greatest generation is always willing to engage in conversation. Isolation may not be new to them. Anyone with a walker or cane is gently ushered to the front. Utilizing humor with the chemistry of a hound dog, one can wish and pray for a love connection even at a distance. Gentle chatting brings everyone together for the common focus.  Everyone remains patient for the doors to burst open. This special grace of population is appreciative of the opportunity to purchase a pint of milk.

Considering the extenuating circumstances, we find ourselves living in – our only escape from our homes is to forge forward for the necessities of life – Twinkies, Cheetos, beer and wine. Dating over 60 includes meeting a prospective love organically. Social distancing has just put a unique spin on the process. Remember to wear your glasses!

(This writer wishes to thank the H-E-B customer, in Clear Lake, Texas,  who grabbed the last two packages of Scott Tissue but turned around and saw my face before she gently handed one to me.)

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Dating over 60 – Know me, Know you

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You’ve met someone brand spanking new. Your brain goes whirly-bird – especially if this is a new adventure. If there is no mutual denominator for being introduced, a chance encounter while waiting in the Starbucks line or disco dancing up a grocery store aisle or a dating site, you exchange telephone numbers. You are technically getting to know a stranger.

Safety is the utmost priority. Identification and verification of exchanged information is a starting point. Surely you found out their name! During the casual encounter, they may have given you the general vicinity of residence, employment or family tidbits. Hopefully, the last name is as uncommon as “Batshitenowski” instead of “Smith”. If you enjoyed the initial banter, your selective memory should serve you well with details.

You need not be a technological wizard to verify the accumulated identifiers. The telephone number usually yields an address when input into your browser. Think of your browser as the new white page phone book thrown onto your doorstep. If your new love interest stated they live “uptown”, one of the addresses listed for them should be within the area stated. A few websites may even include family members residing at said address.  A no cost (free) look-up website is: truepeoplesearch.com or thatsthem.com These sites may not have been updated but will provide general information or let you know if their phone is still in an ex’s name!

Inputting their name into a web browser may provide information even if they don’t participate with social media. Photos from a charity golf tournament, self-employed reviews/websites, dancing nude at Woodstock, employer websites and being tagged in other family member’s posts may appear. An uncommon last name will make this search quicker or less tedious.

If further inquiry or interrogation is needed, a “for fee” website to do a  more in depth search, such as truthfinder.com is available. This website will offer a criminal background search.

Intuition can be beneficial. Experience and age afford the dating over 60 population knowledge from our previous human encounters. Utilization of new age technology is available to make a confident decision. Remember – this is a two-way street! Taking your social media access from public to friends only or private may be a consideration. Be selective on securing your information.

Know me – Know you requires great communication, patience and truth.

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Dating over 60 – Organically meeting your new love

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So, online dating isn’t “your thing” but you’re rattling around on the weekends, in your boxers or gutchies, by yourself. An alternative action is to meet your new love organically. You do not relish the thought of living the rest of your days alone. We all do better with a special someone having our backs, to complain with and to witness our lives. It isn’t going to happen while you hold down the couch.

Be where you enjoy the environment. “Like people” gravitate to their comfort zones. Instead of sleeping your Saturday away – Get your best self together, emotionally and physically and “git after it”. Practice a positive disposition in the mirror. It will surprise you to find how many smiles are returned to you in public places.

Grocery stores are a positive source of interaction. Observing naked chickens can prompt a question to the cutie next to you. Ask what they intend to do with that hen. Ask a person of interest if they know where the maraschino cherries are located. Everyone needs maraschino cherries. Then ask where the whipped crème is! Start a conversation with the person behind you in the checkout line. Choose your grocery store carefully. If you are a Whole Foods Market patron, the conversation may be different than the Kroger encounters. Give the local farmer’s market and festivals a fly through. We all must eat. Give the chore a dual purpose. Don’t discount speaking with someone that isn’t your perfect match – they are related to, work with and live near someone waiting to meet you. A new friend is beneficial for further socialization.

Home Improvement stores are fantastic for encounters. If gardening is your joy of heart, it pays big time to take a slow stroll through the gardenia bushes and fertilizer spreaders. Humans love to be asked for their expert opinions when making an out of ordinary purchase. Carry your mangled shower head proudly through the plumbing supply department.

If you are looking to move up in the world, put on your finest wearables and eat lunch at the Four Seasons Hotel. Take a walk on the wild side and choose an eatery you’ve always wanted to frequent but just didn’t. You deserve it. Eating at the bar in your local restaurant will instigate conversation. Choose a time when your favorite sport will be televised. Ask the person to your left if they’ve ever eaten the fettucine alfredo!  Enthusiasm for a microbrewery brewski is contagious.

Meeting someone organically at church, Meet-Up groups, volunteer groups and employment environments present a common denominator. Visit a dog park. If you don’t have a dog – borrow one. Public parks present nature, walking trails, hiking paths, bicycle lanes, arborist seminars and sport activity fields. When was the last time you watched a soccer game or Little Leaguers play? If you are employed, initiate a community service drive or activity. This can be accomplished through your homeowner associations, senior centers, scout troops or boys & girls clubs – meet your neighbors. Volunteer at the local food pantry, read to children in the hospital, visit meals on wheels recipients, become a CASA – Court Appointed Special Advocate for abused children – we reap great gifts when giving to others.

These activities can start out small and grow as much as you wish. Being alone can rankle loneliness. Feed your soul. You will organically meet a soulmate. Remember to keep sharing your radiant smile.

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