You’ve made the delicate decision to enter the infinite universe of internet dating. In preparation for your dating extravaganza debut, profile photos become your personal billboard. Usually, we don’t take a portfolio of photos of ourselves unless they appear the be the strained and twisted selfies.

Photos taken within recent months will provide a realistic replica of who you are. Action and activity provide a sense of your true persona. It doesn’t have to be jumping on a trampoline or swan diving off a diving board to prove how young you are. Laughing in the kitchen, posing near a historical landmark or Buc-ees statue, adjusting sails on your sailboat, serving food at a charity event, chasing your dog and typing the next great American novel will add interest. Next time you are lounging near a fire pit, ask your cousin to take your picture. Show who you are! Candid shots of putting your tractor away at sunset will create more buzz than a selfie taken in your lounge chair, wearing a wife-beater, watching television.

If you think the selfies you took in the bathroom mirror, toilet in the background, is your best shot – it is not. Is your dream date image one of Preparation H on the shelf behind you? This blog post is primarily directed to daters over 60 years of age. A photo found of you 8 years ago is obviously going to tell the viewer, it is an old photo. What do you think your first impression will be if your photo is dark brunette and you are now super silver? As Popeye used to say, “I Yam What I Yam & Dats What I Yam”! It is unrealistic to think your appearance haven’t changed since George W was in office!

It has been written; professional photographs are the most desirable. Professional photographs taken by someone brave enough to tell you, it isn’t a good idea to include your 25-year-old daughter, in a mini skirt, laying on a table, in a provocative pose, in front of you. Let the professional do their job.

Group shots with the office gang, church volunteers, family reunion, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, your seven sisters or brothers, all the grandchildren or your kids is a distraction. Your prospective sweetheart wants to see what you look like. It doesn’t help to label the image. He or she may think your co-worker is a lot better looking.

 Individual headshots and head to toe shots are best. If you were told in 1973, you look spectacular in a speedo or thong swimsuit, survey those unfamiliar with you before posting your recent shots. If you’ve paid to have a ton of surgery to enhance your looks, go for it. This is definitely a “confidence call” on your part.

Photos with your ex’s and deceased partners usually does not invoke sympathy unless this is your goal. You may not be prepared to jump into the dating pool until you are ready to share your time and life with someone new.

We are all beautiful and handsome. Evoke humor, engaging eye contact and confident body language during the next Kodak moment! There is someone out there for each person. Best wishes and “smile”!

©WriteInSpace.com 2020 All rights reserved May not be reprinted, duplicated without explicit permission.

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If your last date was in 1991, your nerves will get jangled just thinking about sitting across from someone summing you up like a new Silverado. Your bumpers and upholstery are being analyzed. It can bring someone with rock confidence to brain freeze.

You will have second thoughts and third ones too. Don’t overthink it. Put it in perspective.  Keep your expectations to a minimum. It isn’t a lifelong commitment – it’s a drink, a latte’ or dinner.  Keeping it simple will ease the process. It isn’t advisable to plan a twelve-hour extravaganza, a long-distance day drive or meeting the “family” for the first time out. Hearing about Cousin Eddie over calamari is a lot different than sitting across a booth from him in Denny’s or Starbucks!

Safety is your highest priority. Meet your date in a public place. Don’t let your perspective new friend strong arm you into a long-distance drive to the mountains or beach in their vehicle until you know who you are truly involved with. Being in their vehicle makes you a captured and captive victim if circumstances gun out of control. Keep your cell phone easily accessible for all happenstances.

It is a fact, those you meet while out and about will be more receptive to striking up a conversation. If you are a willing participant, meeting your future next partner may be a simple grocery store encounter. Marriages have evolved over asking the butcher what to do with a lamb shank. Personal interaction with grass mowing neighbors, home improvement customers, lingerie shoppers, waiting room hostages (the county appraisal office and car dealerships) and good-looking clients have yielded lifelong friendships. This does not require you to be “dressed for success” every time you leave the house. Tuxedos and chiffon evening gowns are not required for a conversation in the proctologist waiting room!

Depending on your sense of adventure, European river cruises, African safaris and visits to the Taj Mahal can open a plethora of cosmopolitan encounters. Unless they’ve won the trip on a game show, the means to afford it, desire for the experience and the ability to express the pros of eating escargot can be a plus. World travel provides more than the prospect of meeting a life partner. It amplifies your own sense of self.

A previous neighbor met his last 3 wives through his bible study class. Meetup, volunteering, Events & Adventures, fitness centers, Toastmasters, take a class – learn a foreign language for your next trip, eat at the bar or diner counter and present your confident self.   As with any venue, a common denominator does not always insure a sound and safe relationship. Follow your intuition. Balance all emotions. Gather as much info as possible without strategic interrogation tactics in play!

After becoming a widow in my fifties, it took me a few years to determine I wasn’t dead. Stepping over the edge of an emotional cliff, I was urged by a friend to go “on a date”.

The gentleman who did the asking turned out to be a dreamboat. He was never the problem – I was. It was the weirdest experience- an out of body surreal head trip. The last date I had been on was in 1991. I didn’t even have a pager let alone a cell phone back then! There was inadequate dating resources. Friends, websites, documents, white papers, know- it -alls or words in the wind to travel on this new adventure appeared to be scarce. When I would locate an article for dating over the age of 60, it was as if a millennial was using an addlepated aunt as their focus for hooking up with a geezer for a quick sit in the nursing home garden. It was horrifying.

My friends were married – now I understand what the “black widow syndrone” is – which I’ll save that opinion for another post. Hitched people were unable to relate. When I’d ask for advice, they tried but it was out of their recent (like 40 years) area of expertise. They also couldn’t comprehend the present and previous grief that would have to transcend into a new life stage. When your hopes and dreams dissolve into dust instantaneously, you have to reinvent yourself. It isn’t a quick process or available for 2nd day Amazon Prime delivery.

So, I yanked up my big girl gutchies, pulled my shoulders back and dove head first into the deep end of the over 60 dating pool. The fears of being too old, wrinkled, opinionated and nervous were flying around me like a cloud of hungry bees. Being tenacious with the focus used in previous occupations to accomplish a project goal, I pushed forward.

Experience has taught me most people are kind and respectful. It is with extensive research, dates, occasions, interviews and encounters the following posts have influential basis. This is not everyone’s experience or guide. My personal advice is use your common sense and intuition. Stay safe and protective of who you are.

©WriteInSpace.com 2020  All rights reserved May not be reprinted, duplicated without explicit permission.