Dating over 60 – Don’t fall for it

For the most part, the dating world is a kind and polite experience. It is called “dating” for a reason. Emotions are known to get out of control to influence a life changing decision – Don’t fall for it. The over 60 dating population may view the quest to pressure a quick commitment, “because we are running out of time!” Further ulterior motives surface with getting to know your new love interest on a deeper level.

Loneliness is a dominant factor with a fast suggestion to move in together. It starts out easy and romantic with sharing a starry-eyed weekend. Extended commutes between homes always makes for the convenience factor of, “Just stay the night”. First thing you know, you’re scrambling eggs, running to the grocery store and washing a load of towels. New relationships are blissful and happy.

This can lead to lunch with mother once a month, mailing packages to the college child, driving to the laundry, pharmacy, butcher shop, post office and answering his/her business phone. Determine what you want before falling into domestic service in the name of love. You may receive amorous notes of devotion, special little surprise gifts and heady passion for six to twelve weeks. This may cloud your grounded decision-making skills. Ninety days forward you’re into domestic servitude and decreasing bank balance without any of the committed relationship benefits.

Take your time in getting to know Mr. or Ms. Love Prospect. Learn from their relationship history. Will you be the special star above the rest? Filter through their expectations. Are they seeking a “nurse with a Purse” or a “Home Aide Maid”? What are your expectations? Do you view all relationships as equal partners, traditional roles or parenting partners? Ulterior motives do not always broadcast in a timely manner. Communication should also include the fragile talks about finances and planning a future together. If money is not a perfect balance, resentment and being taken advantage of can blow everything up.

If you have known everlasting true love, you will recognize it. Genuine love outlives a rush job. Listen to the little voice inside your head. Use your best intuition. The right answers sometimes have their own timetable.

Be safe. Be you. Be happy.

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Dating over 60 – Organically meeting your new love

So, online dating isn’t “your thing” but you’re rattling around on the weekends, in your boxers or gutchies, by yourself. An alternative action is to meet your new love organically. You do not relish the thought of living the rest of your days alone. We all do better with a special someone having our backs, to complain with and to witness our lives. It isn’t going to happen while you hold down the couch.

Be where you enjoy the environment. “Like people” gravitate to their comfort zones. Instead of sleeping your Saturday away – Get your best self together, emotionally and physically and “git after it”. Practice a positive disposition in the mirror. It will surprise you to find how many smiles are returned to you in public places.

Grocery stores are a positive source of interaction. Observing naked chickens can prompt a question to the cutie next to you. Ask what they intend to do with that hen. Ask a person of interest if they know where the maraschino cherries are located. Everyone needs maraschino cherries. Then ask where the whipped crème is! Start a conversation with the person behind you in the checkout line. Choose your grocery store carefully. If you are a Whole Foods Market patron, the conversation may be different than the Kroger encounters. Give the local farmer’s market and festivals a fly through. We all must eat. Give the chore a dual purpose. Don’t discount speaking with someone that isn’t your perfect match – they are related to, work with and live near someone waiting to meet you. A new friend is beneficial for further socialization.

Home Improvement stores are fantastic for encounters. If gardening is your joy of heart, it pays big time to take a slow stroll through the gardenia bushes and fertilizer spreaders. Humans love to be asked for their expert opinions when making an out of ordinary purchase. Carry your mangled shower head proudly through the plumbing supply department.

If you are looking to move up in the world, put on your finest wearables and eat lunch at the Four Seasons Hotel. Take a walk on the wild side and choose an eatery you’ve always wanted to frequent but just didn’t. You deserve it. Eating at the bar in your local restaurant will instigate conversation. Choose a time when your favorite sport will be televised. Ask the person to your left if they’ve ever eaten the fettucine alfredo!  Enthusiasm for a microbrewery brewski is contagious.

Meeting someone organically at church, Meet-Up groups, volunteer groups and employment environments present a common denominator. Visit a dog park. If you don’t have a dog – borrow one. Public parks present nature, walking trails, hiking paths, bicycle lanes, arborist seminars and sport activity fields. When was the last time you watched a soccer game or Little Leaguers play? If you are employed, initiate a community service drive or activity. This can be accomplished through your homeowner associations, senior centers, scout troops or boys & girls clubs – meet your neighbors. Volunteer at the local food pantry, read to children in the hospital, visit meals on wheels recipients, become a CASA – Court Appointed Special Advocate for abused children – we reap great gifts when giving to others.

These activities can start out small and grow as much as you wish. Being alone can rankle loneliness. Feed your soul. You will organically meet a soulmate. Remember to keep sharing your radiant smile.

©WriteInSpace.com 2020 All rights reserved May not be reprinted, duplicated without explicit permission.

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Blame whoever you want

Blame whoever you want.

     He who calls the shot –

Should own the repercussions

What happened to being accountable?

What happened to telling the truth?

What happened to a sense of dignity?

If any of us pulled any of these antics in our work places, board rooms, social forums– we’d be terminated. Wallow in it – you become “it”.

 

 

©WriteInSpace.com 2019  All rights reserved

you are

You are:

an acolyte torch striking fire and brimstone

a modern day Arrian.

a mystery of many dimensions…..

a kaleidoscope with ever changing brilliant views

validating infinity and who god or “od” is.

shocking honesty and quick to correct!

sharing differences with the same timelines –

tip toeing around the gardenias

so they can hear the Max Richter’s Vivaldi

“I think it’s strange you never knew”

plays in my head because you put it there

HAIR

a man without a current face

but one in my head

loyal – true

a smokestack over the monongahela

high at the top of the steps

intense descriptions to hold close

to save & scatter upward for superior suspension

quick wit

I “get” you

always an astonishment

which may be wrapped in crinkled newspaper

but oh what wonders

 

the neighbor

the neighbor is
a fraud
stealing service benefits
a lawyer no
married to an adolescent
    cheerleader stance
    still thinks she’s cute
a yard full of paper plate flowers
   and dollar store treasures
   cries for her meemaw
vaporized by that passing train

First they came

“First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out – because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out – because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me – and there was no one left to speak out for me.”

by Martin Niemöller