The corporate structure is replacing the doting parent

Posted on by
Reply

What we know now as open conversation and intellection can not be compared with the work culture of decades past. Phenomenal ideas and creative innovations erupted within informal passages of time and space. We were relaxed and uninhibited. We moved forward at a rapid pace without the constraints of what we know now as societies sensitive nature.

Yes, there was sexual harassment and political incorrectness. Sturdy personalities propagated into leadership roles because we learned to professionally dignify the moment and ourselves. We observed the practice of respect for those who forgot how. We weren’t constrained by human resource mediation, management witness procedures and signing affidavits of reprimand for stating a factual opinion that someone else twisted into a personal attack or fabrication.

Management and personnel is now subjected to sensitivity training, extreme puppet policies and SOP’s which would have been mind-blowing in the previous employment generations.

Sensitivity training is unnecessary if families teach their children to treat all human beings with equal dignity.

SOP’s in reference to rehabilitation for workplace violence, addictions, mental health and plain fricking weird have extended to employers having their hands tied behind their backs. They are afraid of soiling the brand or being sued because internal associates and  external clients, vendors and outsourced entities may find out you have a nut case in the cubes. The majority picks up the slack while the indisposed is doing a “Kum ba yah” at the local shrink arena. Employees now know they are covered by corporate fear factors. Everyone is still getting the first place trophy.

A previous management position exposed me to staff, though young in age, had not been taught responsibility, fundamental accountability or in general, manners. An extreme sense of entitlement prevailed. Formal education can not replace fundamentals which should have commenced with learning to walk and talk.

A social setting, years ago folded me into a conversation with a couple eager to raise perfect children. Both parents informed me their children’s job was to go to school and make good grades. They did not want them picking up clothes, taking out the garbage or walking the dog. Their only responsibilities were to be perfect students. The parents took extreme measures in study supervision and class follow-up. They were driven to class and picked up afterwards.

Neither kid learned to take care of themselves. Those master and doctorate degrees can not wake you up in the morning, to be on time for work. If failure was never an option, you can not learn the repercussions of your own actions. When all needs are met, it is impossible to be responsible because you never learned accountability.

The same consequences can be ramifications from children rearing themselves. Parents absent of proper skill or support to teach their children the passages of good character, socially acceptable behavior and self indulgent attitudes will encounter a similar outcome.

It all extends back to moderation and the basics.

The corporate structure is replacing the doting parent. We are teaching the current workforce to treat each other equally. We are mopping up addictions which are the result of not knowing what your kids are doing or who they are with. The process of teaching right from wrong is evident with telling a new hire, stealing will not be tolerated. The practice of respect is taught through corporate policy, standards of procedure and terms of service. If we have to write it down and have personnel sign the statements – they are assuming mom and dad didn’t teach them to be decent human beings. It is CYA to protect the brand and the potential abuses from each other. Look at someone sideways and you’ll be introduced to their lawyer cousin – who had his mother drive him to the courthouse to make sure he or she was on time!

Corporate America is reacting to the outcome, with rules made by the offenders.  Emotional health, anger issues and internal resentment is still viewed as illness and opportunity for redemption. Stage a crying jag at your desk and get a month off to resuscitate your self-esteem. Just like the two year old throwing a tantrum in the middle of the mall on a Saturday afternoon – the parents promise anything the toddler wants to stop the kicking and screaming. The baby stops screaming and has now learned to manipulate the adults.

 

 

 

 

East Texas Radio

Posted on by
Reply

It is a very long drive from Houston to Powderly, Texas. The entire world changes after the first hundred miles outside of the metro-plex. The skyscrapers and freeways appear to melt in the rear-view mirror. The concrete turns to no man land prairie and fields. And then, all of a sudden there is hardly a billboard and you are stuck with the minute array of radio stations.

Knock me in the head, sideways, but I could swear I heard someone on a station in Crockett, Texas reading the obituaries for the week, on the air. Each obituary, in its entirety, line by line, including pall bearers was relayed. I am still not sure if I view this as blasphemous or having the fear of my obit being read out loud on a radio station. It was the same feeling as finding out you have been wearing your panties inside out all day. Not a good feeling.

I have the steering wheel controls to switch stations. They must have a thousand switches on them now. There was a multitude of religious preaching going on. I could almost tell the size of the church. Bet it was painted white and there were wildflowers in mason jars around the altar. A few of the sermons were quiet and subdued. One particular preacher was yelling. Either the congregation was hard of hearing or no one was there and he was trying hard to reach out to them.

There was a nice surprise being able to zone into NPR contact  for enough time to hear the TED Radio Hour. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. I love this program. I watch it on the Roku quite often. The episode this Sunday afternoon was, “Where ideas come from”.  Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer of “Eat, Pray, Love“, conveyed her theory on “A new way to think about creativity.” Shortly after Elizabeth’s 18 minutes of eloquence, the station buzzed out. It was like having lost a good friend to hear the static.

During the five and a half hour adventure, I heard the Beatles sing, “I Will“. At his wedding, I danced with our youngest son to that song  The words to this masterpiece was also printed on our sons’ adoption announcements. What would the odds be of hearing this never a top 10 billboard hit on a radio station driving North on Highway 19 in Texas? Immediately following was Frankie Valley and the 4 Seasons.

There was no heavy metal, headbanger, rap,coffeehouse songwriter hits, or classic rock and roll anywhere to be found. I would’ve settled for a few polkas and a couple of ditties from Yoko Ono. An abundance of kikker music and gospel tunes were swiftly switched, some back and forth, out of frustration, through the car speakers.

Small towns do not have budgets sufficient to provide a vast variety of contemporary and up to date programing. Most of it sounds like it is being produced from someone’s back porch. Advertisers cater to large populations. Bigger bang for the buck. Lack of funding is going to dictate availability. I am extremely spoiled with previous access to world-class programming and a gazillion choices. I am not to sure if satellite XM would have been accessible where I was driving. Fortune permitted the sound of any human voice.

I have since learned to sync the IPhone on a regular schedule to have current podcasts and tunes to entertain my soul, no matter where I may be. My own singing gets on my nerves. God forbid, I’d be left to my own solitary thoughts for more than a few minutes.

Write In Space

Posted on by
Reply

Why do I write in space every morning?

Historically, writing has been part of me since I figured out the alphabet. The thrill of the first Olivetti manual typewriter to becoming President of the Houston Manuscriptor Guild. It is what I do. Sounds like most writers?

Our recent move to northeast Texas has created a perfect writing environment. It is going to take time to ramp up my business. The routine social circle is very far away. There are a lot fewer distractions out in the country. To be very specific – I have become down right bored. Boredom can only be blamed on one person – yourself. It is not the most exciting adventure to pack and unpack moving boxes. I have tackled the art of making sourdough bread and creme fraiche from scratch. Oh yea, I did locate a kitchen in this house. It even freaks me out. For decades, my expertise in the kitchen amounted to nuking whatever was packaged in a fancy box from Krogers. Creative endeavors, cooking or writing, are a lot more enjoyable when you aren’t rushed and you’re new in town.

Through experience, writers write to be remembered. Value is calculated in the words they put together. Some teach. Some whine. Some ramble, but they have an innate need to express themselves. It is a lot less expensive than a shrink. It allows you to be the person no one else can see. I do find myself censoring articles so as not to alienate close family and friends. The rationale is also to maintain a step of decency. The truth walks a fine line. We are all a dysfunctional lot. It is what allows us to stand out from the crowd. “I’d never join a club who would have me as a member”. I think Woody Allen stole this quote from Groucho Marx. Change a word here and there – people will re quote, retweet and post to Facebook.

In sales, a key component for success is knowing your product and your competition. Do you ever envision how other writers, bloggers, novelist, reporters produce their wares? Has the I Pad and smartphones replaced the tiny spiral notebooks and pencils? Do they even jot down notes or pull it all from their heads as it appears on the pages? I picture a lot of scruffy faces, bathrobes, and Don King coiffures in front of huge CPU’s, little laptops, expensive Tablets and a few Bic pens flying across dog-eared notebooks.

Famous and memorable writers, enjoying interviews on name brand television programs, always have the mini replica of the estate house, a short walk away on the property. They are dressed in cashmere sweaters and pressed khaki’s. There is always someone who works for them, or a formally dressed spouse bringing them coffee and a sandwich – with the crust cut off the bread and cut into little triangles. The room they write in always has cherry wood paneling and oriental rugs. An environment which smells like jasmine. The interview commences with name dropping and unabashed astonishment to the reason for the attention. The famous writer always acts flabbergasted and unknowing when asked about the income they have received due to the remarkable notoriety. Oh, the good life.

I am not that kind of writer or want to be. Riding a rocket is a nice gig, but waiting for the bus teaches a better lesson.

 

 

Online Employment Applications

Posted on by
Reply

It appears the world is on a “dummy down” kick. Unemployment, alone,  can kick your ego and self-worth to shreds. The stricken try to replace their professional situation with a “like” position. These days, the economy is brutal with its beatings. You end up applying for anything you can get your hands on. The light bills need paid.The kids are growing out of their clothes.

The lower the pay for a job – the more information and testing is required. An online application for a retail clerk can take as long as an hour to complete. A huge concern is relinquishing your personal identification and history to “who knows” on the other end of the screen. Creating user-id’s and passwords for each corporate entity with terms that would baffle your attorney. “Commission only” positions appear to be the most invasive. What is it with companies paying for performance only, thinking they can invade your privacy? Read the fine print. Agreements post terms with the likes of sending you for psychological counseling, drug testing, the type of vehicle you must have and the cleanliness of said vehicle, dress code requirements, alcohol rehabilitation terms, etc. It makes me wonder what kind of characters they have employed there.

Assessment tests are the best entertainment. Many years ago, I applied for a mid-management bank position. After the first or second interview, I was asked to take assessment testing at a test center. I was told it would take approximately one hour. The “assessment” test turned out to be 9 or 10 different tests and some included ink blots. The appointment lasted 6 hours. Two or three additional employment interviews followed. The end result was an offer so low, I would’ve had to apply for public assistance to live in low-income housing and eat noodles for the rest of my days. At the time, I held a position paying almost twice the offer. What genius at this bank was receiving a kick back from the testing center? It surely wasn’t cost-effective.

The actual online line assessments state repetitious questions. Employers are looking for consistency, thieves, nut cases, simpletons and smart people able to follow directions but not so smart as to have an opinion or the ability to think outside the box. Stepford Wives comes to my mind. If you have an IQ with the ability to set up your own home tech systems, you are going to over think these ditties. A good example is – an executive sales professional is trained to take “risk”. If you don’t take a walk on the wild side – you will starve to death. An online assessment for a retail position equates a “risk taker” as one who steals.The executive sales professional will flunk this assessment. The sponsoring company just passed up a chance to increase sales and actual prosperity.

Experience with the hiring process has taught me there is no equivalent for a face to face interview. Employers are missing the mark and losing the most talented prospects. Mediocre and good enough is what we are receiving when we call customer service, receive a billing statement and put up with lazy attitudes and blatant errors. Which brings up the point – Is there an assessment for habitual absentees, slackers, and arrogant idiots? There must be – they’re passing some kind of test.

 

Why Isn’t My Home Selling?

Posted on by
Reply

Expedite the sale of your home. A great number of resale homes languish on the market a lot longer than necessary. Your rationale, as the seller, may be a down market, pricing, timing, sentimentality or opinions from an outside influence. Finding a buyer is easier than you realize. Learn what your competition is doing. Why are the other homes selling quickly?

Do you have a “grab and wow” factor in your home. If you are selling a starter home, every first time home buyer needs a brag item. Shiny stainless steel appliances, gleaming ceramic tile floors, sparkling granite counter tops, a partying wet bar or the multicolored blown glass phenomenal light fixture hanging in the vestibule have the ability to tap enthrallment. Take the time to walk through model homes at your local home builder. Listen to the comments made by prospective buyers. There is a need to have a “feel good” element to make their future home special.

If you have a McMansion listed for sale, review and update the features you fell in love with. Is the hot tub or pool in need of maintenance or polish? Check out the newest kitchen trends to insure you have an item shining above the rest.Technological – a computerized central command station for lighting, security, and media or higher end appliances can be the enlightened spark for a buyer. Is the purpose of each room designated? Buyers like to know a room is used for exercise, home office, library/study or media.

While walking through the model homes, notice they are white glove inspection clean. Each model home is designed to allow the buyer to picture themselves living in the house. If your home is not immaculately spotless, review your cleaning routine. Does it smell good? Are there spots on furniture or carpets? A clean home may still give the impression of being unclean if detailed maintenance is overlooked. A hem hanging on a window treatment may give the impression bigger problems are pending. A bathtub stain, a missing baseboard, sheet rock watermarks need immediate attention.

I ask each buyer of my listings, why did you choose this house? Multiple times I have heard the other resale homes have an odor from pets, cooking or smoking. The landscaping is in need of attention. Kitchens and bathrooms were cluttered. Dark paint colors generated the cave environment. Buyers choose light, bright, inviting and open homes.

Create a generic appearance within your home. Remove family photos, children’s artwork, refrigerator magnets, chachkies, and half of what is hanging on your walls. Less is definitely best. Pack up decorative items requiring extra cleaning attention. Create a clear view for your prospective buyer to picture their “stuff’ adorning the home. If possible, paint the interior of the house a neutral color. Don’t blow your sale with a vibrant orange bathroom or shocking pink bedroom. Your unique tastes may not reflect the prospective buyer’s individual choices.

An experienced real estate agent will be able to walk you through a successful selling process. Honest critique, upfront opinion and direct advice are to assist you with an accelerator for the sale of your home.

 

Democrat in a Republican State

Posted on by
Reply

It is election time. Acquaintances flash their politics in public. Friends ask my opinion in reference to something Mitt said. Politicians bash each other in political ads. Each one keeps talking and talking. It is like watching bobble heads on the back dash of a bashed up yellow Pinto, while sitting in grid lock traffic.

Borderlines is a small cafe in Powderly, TX. While eating biscuits and gravy one early morning, CNN was blaring from the television above my head. The room was full of omnipotent  “good ole boys,” sloshing coffee and bleating their derogatory racial opinions about my president. I was the only female in the restaurant and their conversation was intended to be heard by all. The majority laughed and agreed. It prompted a general consensus within the room while creating a competitive rally for attention and like remarks.

I felt sorry for these men. Blatant ignorance is intolerable. Obviously, they felt comfortable to release their hatred in the familiar environment. It appeared to be repetitive mimics rendered from the habitual exposure to a community unable to think for themselves. If they have any education, it failed them. If they have no education, their families and the state of Texas have failed them.You don’t go to school to learn stuff. You go to school to learn to think.

Texas is a conservative state. It is Bush and Perry country. The more these politicians talk, the obvious becomes evident. Perry bumbled and fumbled during his recent “skip and fail” to the White House. A few years ago, I sent a written request to Governor Perry, requesting information in reference to the status of “No Child Left Behind”. One of his underlings mailed me a large manilla envelope full of grandiloquence. It was a mirror image of the governor’s recent debate performance. He kept talking – and talking. We learned what it appears to be unprepared, unstudied and lost. The manila envelope reflected the same performance. BTW, the illustrious Governor Bush mimicked the same sentiments. Texas is at the bottom of education rankings, according to the most recent statistics. http://www.window.state.tx.us/comptrol/wwstand/wws0512ed/

Texans are very proud of their political convictions. It is easy when the majority follows as cows do in the pasture. Conversations escalate into emotional uprising. Exemption for time and place is non-existent. During a business lunch appointment, I was confronted by a co-worker, in front of my client, because I did not express my view of the adoration for the current party in office. Because I did not openly confess my political view or confirmation of their views, the assumption was made that I must be a liberal. I have been subjected to southern belle and “keep in your place” conversation in reference to how stately the First Lady looks or how “presidential” George is looking. Included in this conversation was one acquaintance telling the small gathering, she had to return a dress to the store because her husband didn’t like it! She wasn’t allowed to keep it, if he didn’t approve. This woman had a 6 figure income, a college degree and high professional recognition. Her opinion is “well trained”. Years later, I am still flabbergasted by this mode of behavior.

Before the last presidential election, my brother-in-law was laid off, my brother was laid off, my Realtor® associates were struggling and starving, our oldest son was an unemployed veteran, and I was laid off. A close friend asked me if I was voting for George W. She stated they have always voted Republican. I told her I take a common sense view of how an election would personally affect me. Our family still had utility and mortgage payments due. Grocery and gasoline prices were rapidly escalating. Hurricane Ike had taken one of our homes. George W closed the air space above Bolivar Peninsula so the American public wouldn’t view the devastation or repeat the Katrina nightmare. My nieces didn’t have school clothes because their father was unemployed, as were their aunt and uncles. My laid off co-workers were losing their cars to repossession and homes to foreclosure. We were living off of our emergency funds which were earning interest lower than the fees to sustain the accounts. Our home values were recklessly declining. “No,” I told my friend. “I am not voting for a continuation of the same condition”.

When the democrats are in office, we are purchasing homes, We are well employed. Our children have what they need. There is food on the table and gas in the car. When Reagan was in office, it was almost prohibitive to purchase a home due to the exorbitant interest rates.If you did purchase the home, you couldn’t afford anything else.  Clinton created a viable and sustaining standard of living – allowing us to enjoy our families and take a trip or two to Dairy Queen. We were able to save money for retirement, A lot of retirement savings have been spent to survive the last Bush administration.

As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for you?” Call it brave or call it stupid – I can only make a decision based on personal experience. As a female, it is a choice I am able to make without an illiterate politician making it for me.

 

 

 

 

 

What is Customer Service?

Posted on by
Reply

As stated in a previous blog entry, we received a billing statement from our satellite dish provider, for years, that were incorrect. There were duplicate fees, charges for services we did not have or request and rental fees for equipment we owned. Every month, I called them. Every month, a credit was issued. If you break the contract, there is a fee. If you switch to the “other” satellite provider, from personal experience, their billing service was worse. It took a year to cancel the service long after the anniversary date of the completed contract.

We moved recently. A request to forward the mail was submitted online with the USPS. It went well for a week or two. Now, we are receiving publications and magazines belonging to our Sugar Land, Texas subdivision neighbors. There is a mile difference between Ragus Lake Drive and Bramblebury Drive. The house numbers are not similar.  The last names on the publications do not start with the same initials. In other words, the person or persons at the Sugar Land Post Office, are just slapping the forwarding stickers onto my ex-neighbors mail and sending it to Powderly, TX. It makes me wonder if we are receiving all of our mail or is the Publishers Clearing House check going to the Jezikowski family? If you’re out there and receiving my mail, please make sure a remittance is sent to any of my creditors!

Customer service can actually be a psychiatric session for the frustrated. The name of the game in the money-making corporate universe is, “Get them off the phone as quickly as possible.” Time is money. Money is time. No one wants to hear about the box containing two left shoes. Your perception of what is truly Chartreuse, is never exactly the color of the car in the photo. Important, is a mundane term when there is a discrepancy with a nuptial accoutrement. You certainly don’t want any screw-ups repeated at your current wedding!

Telephone calls to customer service add to your delight if you are greeted with an audio-response service. Press one, scream your social security number, repeat your social security number, choose from the next menu, keep pounding on the zero, repeat everything you just input, wait to be switched to the appropriate person, listen to some screaming bitch sing opera, be told you are the 9th person waiting because everyone in front of you in-line is more important, listen to the cross-sell, up-sell, commercials, be told your problem can be solved on their website (this particularly pissed me off when I was calling the internet provider which was always down), and then be told your call will be disconnected, now – click.

It is shocking when a customer service representative is kind to you. We prepare ourselves for the worse. Benevolence can actually unravel our game plan. Just when you think no one can solve your problem, an understanding and intelligent person with a clue – puts all the puzzle pieces back together right where they belong. You almost sound like a fool, repeating “thank you, thank you, and thank you”. You act like they have saved you from a burning vehicle on the freeway at rush hour when in fact they are mailing you a copy of last month’s statement.

Customer service is not a babysitting service when you are viewing model homes at a homebuilder. The beauty consultant at the Niemen’s counter usually can not explain the Fair Credit Reporting Act when you have a revolving credit card question. It doesn’t matter if you have called 13 times to no avail. When truly frustrated, I like to preface my inquiries with, “I know you didn’t wake up this morning with the intent of creating this pestiferous situation comedy for me.” This allows the recipient of my challenge to put the mental ammunition to rest and actually listen. When life is treating you bad and in a really foul mood – needing to release tension, unload, full of road rage, ticked with the partner – call the IRS for a fun call.

 

 

 

Yes to Facebook – No to Facebook

Posted on by
Reply

There are a lot of folks claiming a “no to Facebook”. The reasons are as diverse as the people. A select few do not have legitimate reasons. I would classify it as an excuse. The degree of pc literacy has a vast bearing. There are millions of toddlers with higher degrees of pc literacy than work acquaintances, relatives and friends I have. If they don’t understand how to send an email, Facebook would be an extreme challenge.

Then, there are the chosen few not wanting to be found by anyone. They purposely stay off the internet in any way or form. Paranoia extends to even entering a contest at the mall or taking a survey. Don’t dare ask any one of this crew for their email address when making a purchase in a retail environment! When a sales person asks me for my email address, I just tell them I don’t have one. When asked for my telephone number, I refuse. The reason I don’t convey the requested contact information is because I was previously employed by a credit repository which sold this specific goody for the big bucks classified as “marketing lists”. Yea, Baby, I need more spam and telephone solicitations! At least I am not afraid of being found by an ex-spouse, lover, parasitic relative, live-in, shack-up, outlaw, or stalker finding me. At least not yet!

“No to Facebook” extends to the group exclaiming big brother watches it, the law is watching it and every collection agency in the world has secret access to every profile. This populace has a few valid points. If you robbed a bank this afternoon, the concern would definitely cross your mind. As for big brother watching – the postings in reference to our niece being the next greatest Taylor Swift Swiftie should be noted as a priority in their documentation.

The next classified “No to Facebook” group are the elite bunch. High upper echelon executives with absolutely no time for such nonsense. They don’t care to see photos of their children making asses of themselves – this applies to children from ages 7 to 60. It doesn’t matter to them that their 14-year-old daughter, who looks like “Barbie” has a profile photo of herself wrapped in nothing but a bath towel. Their spouses are co-mingling with high school crushes. Their mother-in-law has just about pissed everyone off with the Farmville postings. None of this phases this group whatsoever. They are exempt by just saying, “no”.

“Yes to Facebook” firecracker bunch is all obsessed. We are privileged to share photos of baby’s first turd, vivid descriptions of what they ate for dinner with Vinney and tagging every single congregant at the Apple Berry Banana Jack Pancake Breakfast – St. Mattress Pius Orthodox Sacred Every Saint Synagogue Church. There is way too much information flowing when they post multiple times within an hour. When do they pee? Or work? Or sleep? This is an extremely social bunch. It is a priority to tag and post with lots and lots of people. “Here I am at Shop & Rob at 2:37 am with Carol, Robbie, Gopher, Tiffanie, Morgan, Robin, Madison, Jacob, Cross, Box, Mary, Januari, Barbed, Crissie, Wired and Wolf.” (Photo of everyone, cheek to cheek, with a cigarette and sucking on a bottle of stuff)

“Yes to Facebook” participants are now able to cross-post from Pinterest, Twitter, etc. Not only do I get to enjoy photos of my grandchildren but now the grown kids can post Pinterest items in reference to jelly belly bread, pumpkin shaped cupcakes and those cutesy poster type signs which have a million smartass statements.  Important to mention lots of photos of puppies, also. It does cross my mind as to the number of hours invested in sitting in front of the pc versus the investment of teaching my precious 15 month of grandson the elements in the periodic table!

Facebook has certainly left a gouge in the socialization of our new world. Where else would I find out my teenage niece is doing “it” and doing “it” well? Fascination still grasps my soul when I can read the political views of co-workers or the knock down dirties between our neighbors. It did cross my mind to “unfriend” a select few but then I’d miss finding out who they really, truly are.

We have family members from Hawaii to Pennsylvania. Facebook allows us to share instantaneous magic otherwise pawned off to a box in the closet. As a young family, it took us a year to save money for a video camera to cherish the childhood moments of our brood. Our kids can pick up their telephones, snap a photo, capture a video and within minutes share Andrew’s first steps and Hailey being born – on Facebook. They know now to call their mother first!

 

 

Debt View

Posted on by
Reply

I had a college friend, Joe, when challenged, used the expression, “Ain’t it a bitch being all grow’d up.” It applied to the majority of dramas we encountered as students. The only thing funnier was Joe borrowing my sunglasses to do his imitation of Stevie Wonder.

Tracking your income (incoming) and your debt/expenses (outgoing) is simple math. A large number of consumers seem to have a problem balancing their budgets. Ah, budget is the magical word. When I was wiping noses, driving car pools and working full-time, I could not have told anyone our annual income. I did not know what our annual income was. I knew how much the electric bill was and there were funds in the checking account to cover everything else. Numbers were only important for big-ticket items or I wanted to go to Disney World. One time, I told my husband I wanted to buy a new television. He said, “We can’t afford it.” No one had ever told me this before! We actually sat down, ran the expense numbers and determined if we did buy the new television, there would be no extras. From that day forward, I know all the magical numbers to continue the life journey in the style for which I am accustomed to! I got the tv, but it was 8 or 9 months later – after I had saved the funds to purchase it.

As a previous banker, I always had one or two customers with an extreme obsession with keeping track of their money. One particular gentleman would be in front of my desk, the day after receiving his statement to inform me that he calculated the interest for his savings account and the bank had shorted him $.03. He laboriously would lament as he provided adding machine tapes, calculator printouts and previous statement comparisons. I was not able to open my desk drawer and throw a nickel at him and tell him to go away. I tried numerous times to pawn him off on one of the  accountants but they developed extreme diarrhea if they heard he was in the building. Every time this incident repeated, I would suggest he join an investment group (an opportunity to contradict a different type of audience) or Toastmasters (he certainly enjoyed hearing himself talk). Repeated fixation over a small detail may cause a wall between what is truly important and what may be a time waster.

One of my friends, is the queen of denial when viewing debt, money and budget – a foreign concept to her. She repeatedly tells me she is unable to meet her financial obligations due to a lack of funds. Knowing her annual income and basic expenses, I could save enough to purchase a new car, with cash, if I were her. I was a single parent and financially moved mountains with my bare hands. My children and I witnessed miracles each week at the grocery store check out and racing across town to pay a bill on time before the creditor closed for the day. My friend does not budget. She purchases items with high tickets because she feels entitled. These spending patterns make her feel important. A bottle of extra virgin olive oil with a price tag of $38.00 creates a feeling of superiority. The same can be said for the $1,100.00 shoes and the weekly pedicures. She chooses not to manage and throws billing statements and collection letters into the trash, unopened.

This week, I received a panic call from my friend. She went to use her debit card and it would not work. After contacting her bank, one of her creditors had sued her and a court action had a hold on all of her deposit accounts, including her safe deposit box. When it is every dime you own and your deceased mother’s jewelry at stake – it gets your attention. The original debt was $5,000.00. With legal action fees, compounded interest and the kitchen sink, the total now exceeded $18,000.00. There was a lot of singing and dancing in trying to straighten this mess out. Her paycheck is automatically deposited and there was no time to stop the next check. She didn’t have a dime in her purse or at home. Debt view – non-existent.

The bottom line is – grow up. Yes, it is a bitch, but it is being responsible and mature. Instead of dancing through the mall for entertainment or dining out at restaurants that serve kumquats and es cargo – add your bills up. Pay your bills – on time. Save some money – even if it is $1.00. My mother taught me to never purchase anything on credit that would not exist when the bill arrived. This included candy, pantyhose, hair styles and cosmetics.

It takes sacrifice, ingenuity and time to make ends meet when you are in a tight spot. I have been laid off, divorced, sick and a single parent. It is possible to prepare for emergencies, such as no income! When I was laid off, I was the only unemotional person in the group. I had an emergency fund and read the writing on the wall way before the axe fell. It was the first time in 35 years I didn’t have to answer to “the man”!

 

New Age vs Old Age Employmemt Challenges

Posted on by
Reply

Unemployment is difficult enough. If your previous employment spanned many, many years – the process is similar to getting a divorce after the silver anniversary. The interview process is in the same category as “What do I wear on the post-divorce first date and am I expected to sleep with them?”

Without going into the world viewing youth as intelligence and aging as demented, crazy and invisible, the interview process is arduous, at best. Interviewers are getting younger as you age in the lobby, surrounded by people your kid’s ages. Especially for the first five or six interview outings, you are most likely over dressed and lacking a nose ring. Your wrinkles and graying hair are secondary to the archaic briefcase or portfolio under your arm. Shoes with buckles and shoestrings are passe’. A good pair of flip-flops or any shoes made of rubber and dirty toenails are available for viewing. The employment opportunities for this scenario are not blue-collar. They are actually professional sales, financial and technological positions.

I had been laid off, for the first time in my long-term professional life, after the age of 40. One interviewer, who appeared to have just rolled out of couch, held his Blackberry up in front of me and asked, “Do you know what this is?” Another wiseass asked if I knew how to turn a laptop on. I informed him that I had the capability of not only turning it on, but take it apart, put it back together and re-program the entire thing. I guess he didn’t like my response because “Tiffany Cleavage” in the lobby, got the job. One of my friends, a current employee with this up and coming executive, was seeking new employment but was in desperate financial straits and stuck. She was also ten years younger than I was.

Being a bit outspoken, follow-up to an interview, always yielded jolly propaganda. I always asked what my deficits may have been. The ones who didn’t blow smoke gave me some true insight such as:

  • You look like a banker
  • I couldn’t picture you unloading product from an 18 wheeler – (This was not in the job description or mentioned during the interview!)
  • You would have my job in a day or two and I couldn’t risk hiring you.

One employment opportunity resulted in four interviews. The first three “show and tells”  allowed the escalation of executives a chance to increase expenses by flying into Houston from Boston – otherwise, they would have flown me and/or the other candidates to Boston! The position, up for grabs, was highly compensated and possessed an upper echelon profile. An assessment after Interview #2 yielded that I had an “extreme sense of urgency”! During the process, the company recruiter would telephone me and discuss the previous appointment and inform me of the “going forward” recommendation for yet another go around. A Don Draper, Mad Men type conducted interview #4.  He was the epitome of a well upholstered “suit”. Five minutes into the engagement, he mocked my responses which included one of my hand gestures. Looking back, I wished it had been one of my other hand gestures. He challenged each one of my replies to his questions in a most derogatory and demeaning manner. Fifteen minutes later, as the hair on the back of my neck stood up, I backed my way to the conference room exit while he continued to prattle. I ended the interview.

The recruiter called a few hours later. She asked why I exited the interview early. I gave her the generic response that I was not the right candidate for the position. She informed me that my competition for the job was only one other person. Again, I told her it was not a “good fit”. A few days later, she called me again. She was insistent in knowing why I left the interview. Was it my place to inform her Mr. Suit intuitively appeared a predator, woman-hater, wife beater and general asshole? Yea, Baby, I could just imagine a cross-country travel rendezvous business trip with him as my vice-president! The telephone conversation created the instantaneous response reflex of:

  • Do I assassinate his character and risk a lawsuit?
  • What are the benefits of telling the recruiter something she already knew?
  • Did she really want to hear my conclusions based on life experience, knowing of a bunch of gems like him and intuition?

I made a business quick wit and allowed the recruiter to conclude the outcome with the results of the process. A lot of time, money, travel, and dry cleaning expense to have a qualified candidate turn them down when the horses were coming around the bend and headed for the straight a way. They’re smart people. I think this may have been a déjà vu.

Appropriately, each of us knows when we are qualified and age was a non-hire condition. My personal experience with the hiring process yields the following direction with the interview process:

  •  Do not use Old Spice or Youth-Dew fragrances.
  • Do not be late – Especially a whole day.
  •  Do not have your significant other drive you and wait with the kids in the reception area.
  • Keep the cocktail wear for bar mitzvahs, wedding receptions, glamour shots and family portraits –  Send a photo to the Ellen Show.
  • Stay awake and sober for the interview.
  • Be yourself.
  • Be true to yourself.