The general dance of dating over 60 is a wide-ranging outline of dating in your 20’s or 30’s. You think you know what you want. You think you know your type. When presented with the opportunities, this can change in a heartbeat. First impressions can dissolve like cotton candy in the rain.
First dates are classified as the “honeymoon” period. He says he likes peas and chicken. She says she loves all sports, including curling. The reality soon surfaces around the fifth date. He hates chicken because the Colonel served him chicken that was bloody in the middle around 1986. Her idea of loving sports is shopping for MLB official apparel during the game with his credit card and crocheting team dog sweaters.
If you are lucky, the differences will appear almost immediately. He shows up in lemon yellow corduroy short shorts. She has a mustache bigger than his and smells like Nair. This usually sums up how the first encounter is going to secure your future if you consider the details.
Another example of immediate differences – She’s been throwing back non-stop margaritas at lunch. Her car is equipped with breathalyzer apparatus and won’t start unless a sober person blows into the tube. She then informs you of her DUI and she lives sixty miles away. She suggests staying at his place for the evening. He loads her into his car and makes a 120-mile round trip to drop her ass off at her apartment.
A favorite story, told by a friend, is the date that arrives in a cab with a suitcase and tote bag that has Florida oranges printed on it. She informs her date that her significant other threw her out when she was scouting online for a replacement sugar daddy. She announces her homelessness between the entree and dessert courses. Did he not notice the luggage?
Online photos can be misleading. The most common complaints include the proverbial weight and age issues. One detail the internet may not be able to explicitly capture is the date with so much Botox in her face that when she laughs, nothing moves. The photos were an extremely beautiful model, but the person appeared to be a real-life plaster mannequin with hardly any moveable parts.
The blind date turning into a family affair is another surprise. She turns up at the designated restaurant, with her 3 small hungry children, her best friend, Margo and cousin, Bert. Obviously, there’s a forgotten Louis Vuitton wallet and Mr. Date either learns to wash dishes, gets arrested for theft of services or ends up paying the tab.
Odds are, you will have a turn at the not so blissful meet and greet or date. It leads to a good comparison of the extreme pool to choose from. Be tenacious. Never forget who you are. Don’t settle for anything unhealthy.
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