Online Employment Applications

It appears the world is on a “dummy down” kick. Unemployment, alone,  can kick your ego and self-worth to shreds. The stricken try to replace their professional situation with a “like” position. These days, the economy is brutal with its beatings. You end up applying for anything you can get your hands on. The light bills need paid.The kids are growing out of their clothes.

The lower the pay for a job – the more information and testing is required. An online application for a retail clerk can take as long as an hour to complete. A huge concern is relinquishing your personal identification and history to “who knows” on the other end of the screen. Creating user-id’s and passwords for each corporate entity with terms that would baffle your attorney. “Commission only” positions appear to be the most invasive. What is it with companies paying for performance only, thinking they can invade your privacy? Read the fine print. Agreements post terms with the likes of sending you for psychological counseling, drug testing, the type of vehicle you must have and the cleanliness of said vehicle, dress code requirements, alcohol rehabilitation terms, etc. It makes me wonder what kind of characters they have employed there.

Assessment tests are the best entertainment. Many years ago, I applied for a mid-management bank position. After the first or second interview, I was asked to take assessment testing at a test center. I was told it would take approximately one hour. The “assessment” test turned out to be 9 or 10 different tests and some included ink blots. The appointment lasted 6 hours. Two or three additional employment interviews followed. The end result was an offer so low, I would’ve had to apply for public assistance to live in low-income housing and eat noodles for the rest of my days. At the time, I held a position paying almost twice the offer. What genius at this bank was receiving a kick back from the testing center? It surely wasn’t cost-effective.

The actual online line assessments state repetitious questions. Employers are looking for consistency, thieves, nut cases, simpletons and smart people able to follow directions but not so smart as to have an opinion or the ability to think outside the box. Stepford Wives comes to my mind. If you have an IQ with the ability to set up your own home tech systems, you are going to over think these ditties. A good example is – an executive sales professional is trained to take “risk”. If you don’t take a walk on the wild side – you will starve to death. An online assessment for a retail position equates a “risk taker” as one who steals.The executive sales professional will flunk this assessment. The sponsoring company just passed up a chance to increase sales and actual prosperity.

Experience with the hiring process has taught me there is no equivalent for a face to face interview. Employers are missing the mark and losing the most talented prospects. Mediocre and good enough is what we are receiving when we call customer service, receive a billing statement and put up with lazy attitudes and blatant errors. Which brings up the point – Is there an assessment for habitual absentees, slackers, and arrogant idiots? There must be – they’re passing some kind of test.


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